It is now the middle of February. The snow is covering this flat, expansive landscape that surrounds me. Even at Six O’ clock in the evening the world is silent; frozen in a state of blissful, calm, slumber. A peaceful oasis in the sea of economically motivated slash and burn development that envelopes the rest of the world.
I still remember when that was the basic vision when anyone mentioned the word Canada…
These days, I would wager heavy Dollars that that is not the image jumping into the retina of the average citizen of the world when the nation of Canada comes into discussion.
We are fast becoming a poster child for the fat, stupid, gluttonous pigs of the world. Penny rubbing pimps who’ve discovered that our backyard can be slutted out for a quick buck.
China’s got our oil. Russia’s got the uranium, and overseas LLC’s have the rest of the pie… we are quickly becoming the venture capital investment of the United Nations.
It is on this note, in part, that the #idlenomore movement was ignited.
A grassroots grabbing of the emergency brake of Economic Development.
It is where this road I have been travelling has led me.
Which is quite the curious connected disconnect, really. I started off this thing intending to write an in-depth digression into the state of marijuana laws in the western world, but in the course of my research and pondering I have been derailed, and forced to cope with the grander situation: the copulation of the government and big business. Right out there, in our back yard. Moaning and grunting, whooping it up and gittin’ down to business, totally in view of everyone, including the kids.
Thanks Stephen Harper. My kids now know what being gang banged by a pack of rabid communists looks like…
That is the basic sentiment I have been clinging to as of late. And why not? While the rest of the world is concerning itself with conservation for the purposes of longevity and preservation, the Harperites have made it job one to turn as many quick bucks as possible, and to hell with tomorrow.
Land, sea, and air. It’s all for sale!
The Oil Sands region is such a huge, fucked-up mess that it now produces it’s own weather systems. Now that, my friends, is fucked up. Just think about that. This desert of tailings ponds, roadways and holes in the ground (of which Canada has the largest in the WORLD) has now begun affecting Canada’s weather. And they’re just ramping up production.
1967. That’s the year this all started. And now 46 years and 420 square kilometres later, Canada has a nice, apocalyptic version of my son‘s sandbox.
I wonder if all of the animals that lived on that land were considered overburden?
The moose in the region are so goddamn tainted with arsenic (up to 33 times the safe limit) that they are toxic to anyone who eats them.
Soon enough, there is going to be a phosphorescent green moose plastered on the back of our quarter.
I could sit here all day long, spewing out facts that make my head spin and my guts roll. Things that not many people really know about, but are readily available with a simple Wikipedia search.
One thing that really blows my mind, in my signature super-conspiracy theorist manner, is the fact that the Oil Sands are only an economic viability so long as the price of fuel stays high.
Who controls the prices?
Who keeps the tax’s on fuel high?
Perhaps my good friend Stephen could answer that one…
As soon as he finishes up his glamour-shots session with the Bieb.
When did the price of gas (for no apparent reason) jump up? About the time the shitsands swung into high gear?
I’m sure I’m just being paranoid and crazy.
Perhaps not though. Because, let’s look at this thing pseudo-rationally: why is the price of gas so high? If we’re ripping so much oil out of our land, shouldn’t our fuel become cheaper? Well, no. With the price of fuel the way it is, that cash cow in Alberta is squirting liquid gold out of it’s tits. A golden shower if you will. Spurting out, all over the land. And, like any good golden shower, it stinks.
Our elected officials are fixing the match, in order to guarantee a profitable outcome for this sideshow they’ve doubled down on.
Read it for yourself. “Canada’s Oil Sands Opportunities and Challenges to 2015:an update”. Type that bugger into your search engine and enjoy. It is the equivalent of someone robbing your house, taking pictures of it, and posting them on facebook.
…Well, now that I’ve mentioned facebook I think I have found the off-ramp from this kinetic digression that will put me back onto my original intentions, to discuss the Idle No More movement…