Memo from the Canadian Affairs Desk: Feb.26, 2014

Ukraine protests

February 26, 2014

…STRANGE RUMOURS AND POLITICAL DOGGING  IN PARLIAMENT… CABIN FEVER RUNNING RAMPANT THROUGHOUT THE KARMIC LANDSCAPE… RIOTS AND FOTO-OPS, HANDSHAKES AND MONEY SHOTS…  HYENAS AND VULTURES FIGHTING OVER THE UKRAINE’S STILL BREATHING CORPSE…

 

March is quickly approaching. You don’t need a calendar to know this. You just need to step outside and take a deep breath, observe the wildlife, or watch the trees sway in the dry, cold arctic breeze…

Or, tune into the network news channels.

It becomes quickly apparent that the entire karmic flux of the world is feeling cabin fever.  A nervous twitch of the soul that makes everything edgy and wound tighter than a length of 25 tonne tow cable.

Over the next few weeks I think the Canadian political circus is going to get itself whooped up into a rock-star calibre frenzy.
For no good reason at all. It’ll just be a late winter freakout.
Social Tourette’s Syndrome. Political ADHD. Economic Cacophilia.

The CPC will be unable to resist the urge to get involved in issues that they have no understanding of. You can just sense their growing lust for camera exposure, trending popularity, or any other type of attention they can drum up.

The situation in the Ukraine jumps out at me as a prime example. Now that Viktor Yanukovych, that violent street thug, has been tossed out on his ass, The CPC are full of foto-op compassion for the Ukrainian people.

They’re sending over John Baird and his merry band of half-wits, to assure the new interim Ukrainian government that Canada stands behind it.

But what does that really mean?

And what will happen when Russia weighs in on the subject? Will Baird & CO. change into superhero spandex (Lululemon perhaps?) and spring into action? Captain Canuck and the Stupor Friends!
Indeed…

Baird’s there to be a snivelling, drooling, sycophantic, opportunistic hyena. Some have said. I have heard talk of him being there to sway the Ukrainian interim government towards the Western socio-economic mentality.

The CPC understands carnally how this chaos in the Ukraine is the best possible opportunity to swoop in and take a little bit of pie off of Russia’s plate. A power struggle between Russia and The West, played out in the Ukraine; but having nothing to do with the Ukraine. The country itself, is nothing more than a pawn in this dick waving competition.

An ally located right at Russia’s back door is exactly what the Western World has been wet-dreaming about for years now. And the CPC will do whatever they can to get in the ear of Ukrainian politicians… as long as it’s selling the Ukraine some Canadian Bitumen, at ¾ the price Russia is charging.

I hear Baird is taking a cue from China, (vis-à-vis the panda bears sent to Canada) by bringing a polar bear with him to the Ukraine, to seal the deal. I hear they’re going to load the polar bear up on Krokodil and Jimson Weed and Absinthe and MDMA and let it loose on the streets of Crimea… After the crowds are hosed down with a maple syrup/bacon fat distillate…

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