Memo from the Canadian Affairs Desk – March 26, 2015: Modern politics has become a simple equation

I have been sitting patiently by my television this morning waiting for things to get rip roaring over on the CPAC channel. I’m very interested to see how the debate over extended military missions overseas pans out,,, what witty barbs Stephen Harper tosses out there, like he’s the M.C. at a Comedy Central Roast…

I’ve made myself a large pot of coffee. I’ve downed a large glass of V8 tomato juice to combat the ulcers that generally accompany the CPAC channel. I’ve smoked what I hope will be one of my last cigarettes ever. I’ve even loaded up on vitamin pills, to get my brain firing on all cylinders, just in case the debate takes a wild turn into the realm of informed and intelligent debate.

Cazart!!!

My Bell satellite dish’s reception has just been dickered! This cannot be… I did not prep myself for such an event this morning..

And so now I sit here, clacking away at this well used and abused keyboard, patiently waiting for some sort of noise to erupt from my television screen. The problem with this scenario being, my mind tends to wander in these situations. In many cases my imagination gets the better of me. It provides me with it’s enlightened (albeit somewhat contorted) approximation of what is happening over there in Ottawa…. And as frightening as it usually is, it’s always nightmarishly accurate…

***

Thank the powers that be!!! The sideshow know as parliamentary procedure has once again started spewing out of the T.V….. right in the middle of talk about the ISIS/ISIL mission. Providing me with a non-stop barrage of rhetoric and pre-election posturing right off the bat. The NDP and the Liberal’s are actually taking up all the time attacking each other! A totally warped and malignant pissing contest. All to the joy of the CPC party I’m sure.

This is something that not even my addled, twisted brain could conjure up. It almost sounds like question period. It’s  that immature and mean spirited, rhetorical and irrelevant.

Then directly after that particularly sad bout of assmonkery, Elizabeth May reels it all in with the most amazing speech. A well informed, passionate and compassionate oratory about the need for Canada to fully examine how we can best help. She gave credit to the CPC for the humanitarian aide provided thus far, but… *gasp*… gave constructive and polite criticism of what she found to be significant flaws in the idea of engaging in military conflict in a more assertive role, and for an extended period of time. It’s the kind of thing that I just dream of hearing from my representative, Bev Shipley. Or even Jason Kenney… But that, I fear, Is a far flung fantasy that not even a bowl full of San Pedro could make happen in this mass of gelatinous goo I call a brain…

A politician speaking in the House of Commons with tact and respect for the core values of what Canada should represent, shouldn’t feel like such a rare thing. These people are, after all, supposed to be the best representative’s of what we are, who we are, and what we stand for. The concepts of civility, respect, understanding, and compassion should be practiced and praised at every step of the political process; by every single person involved. It is the very least they can do, isn’t it?

But perhaps that is another far flung hallucination. Because the reality of Canadian politics in 2015 inhabits a completely different dimension than that ideal..

Because when your political party has a majority government, no matter what amazingly articulate and true statements come flying at you from the other side of the room, No matter how many people question, speak out, and protest; all you have to do is laugh it off with an idiotically unprofessional retort, and shove your agenda through.

It is a damn good thing we have politicians such as Elizabeth May,

Because without that beacon of light our political landscape is awash in a sea of of bad karma, posturing, and greed;

…A simple equation:

The Algebra of Need…

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